


The day my heart broke

by b67112759



Series: Heeseung’s secrete love for Jay & it’s effect on their relationship [3]
Category: ENHYPEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, But it’s okay because he had Sunghoon, Fake Happiness, Heejay, Heeseung suffers because of it, Jaywon come out as a couple, M/M, Sunghoon is a good friend, jayseung, lying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29560014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b67112759/pseuds/b67112759
Summary: Heeseung remembers the day Jay and Jungwon told everyone that they were dating.
Relationships: Lee Heeseung & Park Jongseong | Jay, Lee Heeseung & Park Sunghoon, Lee Heeseung/Park Jongseong | Jay, Park Jongseong | Jay/Yang Jungwon
Series: Heeseung’s secrete love for Jay & it’s effect on their relationship [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2131425
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	The day my heart broke

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember that non of this is real and just made up for entertainment. 
> 
> Feel free to follow my Twitter to know when I update all my Aus and see all my writing projects. My Twitter user name is: @b67112759

Heeseung could remember as clear as day when Jay and Jungwon told everyone they were dating. That day had not been a good day for him. That day haunted him all the time. 

He and Sunoo had been playing games on their phones in the bedroom as Heeseung was waiting to take a shower when Jungwon called everyone out for a ‘family meeting’. Not knowing what it was going he and Sunoo went out to their living room and joined the circle they were all sitting in.

**_ (Heeseung was going to wish he never did join that meeting) _ **

He sat down in between Sunghoon and a Sunoo and waited for Jungwon to start this family meeting. “We have something to say” Jungwon announced, turning to Jay, looking pretty nervous. It was clear he was going to rely on Jay to tell them what we was going on. 

Jay nodded and looked at all of them in the eyes briefly as he gathered up the courage to admit this news. 

“Jungwonie and I... we’re in a relationship....We’re dating.... We got together last week” Jay told them, his hand moving and grasping Jungwon’s hands as they shyly looked at the rest of the members. 

Jake - Jake who was one the sweetest people Heeseung knew - had congratulated the couple first, smiling, clapping and wishing them the best, heart open. Sunoo and Niki had been next once they got over their initial shock and Niki even teased Jay a little saying that it was obviously going to happen eventually with how touchy the two were - _** Heeseung felt his heart sting a little at that ** _ _**.**_ Sunghoon had smirked and lightly hitting Jay’s shoulder and causally congratulated them, telling them to keep all PDA at a complete minimum for his sake.

When the others were done Heeseung became vaguely aware that it was his to turn to say something. The other three had gone and it was just him, Sunghoon and the new couple. Jungwon had been looking at him with a wide smile and pleading eyes, hoping that he would accept this. Jay looked at him with a small smile but his eyes were saying something else - Don’t ask Heeseung what it was because he didn’t know. 

Heeseung had felt this large knot form in his throat and his eyes began to sting. He had his suspicions when he began to see just how close the two were as they got closer they got to their debut but he had hoped, prayed that they were nothing more than close friends. But he was wrong. They were in a relationship. The person he loved was with someone else. 

_Damn_. 

How cruel the universe was. He had liked Jay for a long time. Even before Jungwon had entered big hit as a trainee. He always thought it was crush that one day disappear. But for the last 8 months Heeseung has been very aware that he was completely and absolutely in love with his best friend. If the universe was fair on him they would have allowed Jay to feel the same towards him. To love him. But the universe didn’t want that. It give Heeseung one of the things he wanted the most - the chance to debut. But it couldn’t give Heeseung the person he considered to be his soulmate. 

Heeseung was so deep in his thoughts that he wasn’t able to school his face into a positive face as he should do. His face and eyes were mostly blank but his hands were entwined on his lap, twitching as he tried to forcefully stop the eruption of emotions that would eventually come out.

Jungwon’s smile had faulted a little when he saw Heeseung was just starting at them, not saying a word. He and his hyung were so close, Jungwon didn’t know what he would do if Heeseung didn’t accept this. Didn’t accept the relationship.  


Heeseung pulled himself out of his head for his emotional safety and saw how the younger’s expression fall and he gritted his teeth. Poor Jungwon wasn’t at fault for Heeseung’s issues. He would just do what made him happy. As he should.

Heeseung wanted to crack a smile and tell the two how happy his was for them. But for some reason he couldn’t. But luckily someone has his back. Sunghoon saw his friend in a state of pain and moved his hand to rub Heeseung lower back as he way to comfort him and encourage him to hold or together for just a little longer and congratulate the new couple.

If Heeseung wanted to keep his feelings a secret then he needed to lie and cover up his feelings. Since he and Heeseung were next to each other no one would notice what he was doing because he would he be able to explain it. 

A small (slightly quivering) smile came onto Heeseung’s face before fully blooming into a smile with teeth. 

( **_ At that point Sunghoon was concerned at how good Heeseung was at holding back his emotions and lying about how he was feeling. If Sunghoon wasn’t aware of the full story he would have thought that Heeseung was actually happy for them and wasn’t inwardly dying of heartbreak _ ** ). 

“Ahh kids congratulations” Heeseung smiled so brightly that he actually made the others smile too, his smile infectious. 

“I’m glad you have each other. I’m sorry for taking so much time to react. I just wasn’t expecting it. You know that all I want is for my dongsaengs to be happy and well. As long as you are happy then this hyung is happy too” Heeseung allowed the words to flow, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth and his eyes to begin to twitch a sign that he was close to crying.

He reached over and ruffled Jungwon’s and squeeze Jay’s shoulder. Happy when he saw the relived looks pass on their faces and he they completely relaxed. The last thing Heeseung wanted was for any of the people he cared about to be upset. He would just need to deal with the news and get over it. 

“Ahh Heeseungie hyung you scared me. I thought you weren’t happy” Jungwon told him, grabbing his hand. 

Squeezing Jungwon’s hands he pushed on. “How could I not be happy at this news? I care about the two of you so much. I just worry that being idols with ruin things and I don’t want that for you” 

“Yeah we were worried about too. But as long as we keep going we’ll be fine. I plan for us to be together for the rest of their lives” Jungwon announced and Sunghoon caught the increase in Heeseung’s blinking, how his unoccupied hand dug into his joggers and how his smile faulted just a little. 

_ I can’t imagine how painful this is for him _ , Sunghoon told himself as he tried not pull one of his best friends into a hug. 

“Ahhh I’m glad you think like that...But do me a favour please... keep all the romantic stuff to yourself. I don’t want my eyes to bleed and don’t bore me with how much you like each other because I will fall asleep” he told them with a teasing look make Jungwon laugh.

_ But really please don’t talk to me about your relationship. I won’t be able to handle it.  _

“Okay hyung. We’ll try and save you for that torture, won’t we Jay hyung?”, Jungwon to his boyfriend who looked to be happy but his eyes showing suspicion over his hyungs reaction. Something wasn’t sitting right with him. 

Jay smirked and shrugged “Hyung if you behave I’ll only bother Sunghoon. If not I’ll bore you to death” 

“Yaaa Park Jay I will throw up if you come too me” Sunghoon joked back making them laugh.

Heeseung must have either be a prodigy’s lying or had a lot of practice because his laugh sounded so natural.   
  
  


But prodigy or not there was only so much he could handle. He was still human after all.

Feeling his eyes begin to water it became apparent to the eldest that he couldn’t hold back his emotions any longer and he  ** COULD NOT ** cry. Not here, not now “Right time for my shower” he said standing up stretching, doing his best to act actual casual. 

“Everyone’s finished washing up right? It’s just me left?” He asked pretending to rub his eyes out of tiredness but was actually getting rid of the tears. 

“Yeah. We should all head out to bed now” Jay said, keeping his eye his hyung. 

“Cool” 

Heeseung made his way back to the bedroom to just make sure his phone could charge and headed to the bathroom. He didn’t say anything to any one as he felt his vision begin to blur with tears. He stumbled into the bathroom and locked the door with shaky hands before falling onto the floor as soon as he was done. The tears he has been holding back burst out and stream across his face. A son escaped his mouth making him cover his mouth his hand hand to mute all sounds.

His heart was beating wildly as the dam that was holding together leaked. Jay wasn’t his. Hs would never be his. Jay belong to their precious Jungwon. Jungwon who had the ability to make Jay happy in a way he couldn’t.He let out a sharp gasp of air as he tried to calm his head and mind burying his face in his knee to be able to keep quiet. 

Heeseung’s body began to shake as he fell, lying in a foetal position silently berating himself for falling in love with someone who considered him as his best friend and nothing more. He should have tried harder to get rid of his feelings. Instead of wishing and hoping that Jay felt the same way he should have been wishing and hoping that his feelings would go away. It was a good thing he never did tell Jay because it was have been a big mess if he did. A mess that couldn’t be fixed. It shouldn’t have been possible but Heeseung could swore that his heart began to clench painfully at the emotional turmoil he was going through. His heart beating at an abnormal rate, ricocheting all over his body meaning that all he could here was his muffled cried and his heart. He had been really delusional. Foolish. So so foolish. All he wanted was for the ground to swallow him up and take away all the pain. 

Realising that it would be suspicious if he wasn’t in the shower yet, using his shaky legs he stood up and walked to the shower stall, turning on the hot water. He didn’t even bother taking off his clothes as he stepped into the shower and sat himself on the shower floor as he allowed the hot water cascade down his body, his tears and shower water blending in together. 

The headache he would get after would be a bitch. He was going to be seriously dehydrated after this. But nothing could compare to the pain he felt in his heart. The headache would last only for a little whilst but the pain his his heart was going to stay until he found a way to move on. 

If that was even possible at this point. 

_Jay-ah_ ,  he called out in his mind.

_ My Jongseong-ah. Why can’t I be the one you want?  _

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for coming to read and I hope you enjoy it. Feel free to comment and tell me your thoughts


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